HR Manager Mistaken for a Maryland Blue Crab

by Frank Roche on July 13, 2011

in Careers, Humor

HR Manager Mistaken for a Maryland Blue Crab
Havre de Grace, MD–Tragedy nearly befell Henrietta L. Haughentot, 47, of Aberdeen, MD Tuesday, when she was mistaken for a Maryland blue crab in a disturbing species mixup of the most horrific kind. Ms. Haughentot is an HR manager in charge of policies at a nearby Havre de Grace distillery.

“I dunno what happened,” said Lester X. Quonset, 52, of Joppatowne. “I was mixing up a big pot of crabs and pouring on the tins of Old Bay. And then the crab said something. Crab’s never spoken to me before, although I sometimes think I can hear music when I get a mouthful of Old Bay and crab meat.”

In what local police describe as an ongoing investigation, Ms. Haughtentot reportedly was swimming in the shallow waters near the Havre de Grace Decoy Museum at the same time that Mr. Quonset was out crabbing.

“I was reeling in one keeper after another. Then I caught a monster,” said Mr. Quonset. “The biggest crab of all time.”

It wasn’t until Mr. Quonset had coated his catch in Old Bay and was readying his crabs for boil, that he noticed something fishy.

“Crabs don’t usually talk,” he said. “I listened real hard, and I heard the big crab saying, ‘I’m not a crab.’ Just like that.”

That’s when Mr. Quonset realized that Ms. Haughentot wasn’t a Maryland blue crab. He called the Police.

“I was lucky that I didn’t get a place at the table this time,” said Ms. Haughentot.

Ms. Haughtentot, the seasoned HR pro, is recovering at home.

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